Parenting : 5 Teen Behavior Problems: A Troubleshooting Guide

To be fair, nobody has ever pretended that parenting a young person was attending to be straightforward. Still, till your own children reach that stage, it's tempting to believe your family are resistant to teen behavior issues. No, you tell yourself, your teenager can never speak back, keep out too late or pierce her eyebrow.

Dream on.

Teenagers are essentially hard-wired to butt heads with their oldsters, says Stuart Goldman, MD, director of psychiatric education at Children's Hospital in Boston. "Adolescence could be a time of speedy modification for youths each physically and cognitively," he explains. "It's the task of the teenager to fireplace their oldsters and then re-hire them years later, however as consultants instead of managers."

But that does not mean you've got to require it lying down. With the proper approach, you'll troubleshoot the subsequent teen behavior issues during a comparatively civilized fashion.


Teen Behavior drawback 1:

Your Teen appears To Hate You

One minute your sweet kid is begging you to return on the category trip or to lie down along with her whereas she falls asleep. Then, seemingly overnight, she starts treating you prefer dirt, discounting everything you say and snickering at your suggestions. If you look closely, you will see that you have been through this before, when she was a toddler -- solely rather than shouting "no!" sort of a two-year-old would, a young person merely rolls her eyes in disgust.

"It's therefore arduous for fogeys when this happens," says Nadine Kaslow, PhD, a psychologist specializing in children and families at Emory University in Atlanta. "But a part of adolescence is regarding separating and individuating, and lots of children have to be compelled to reject their oldsters so as to seek out their own identities." Teens specialize in their friends over on their families, that is traditional too.

Your answer

Sometimes oldsters feel therefore hurt by their teens' treatment that they respond by returning the rejection -- that could be a mistake. "Teenagers grasp that they still want their oldsters albeit they cannot admit it," says Goldman. "The roller-coaster they place you on is additionally the one they are feeling internally." because the parent, you wish to remain calm and take a look at to weather this teenage rebellion part, that sometimes passes by the time a toddler is sixteen or seventeen.

But no one's saying your teen ought to be allowed to be really nasty or to curse at you; when this happens, you've got to enforce basic behavior standards. One answer is that the sensible, old style approach of: "If you cannot say one thing nice, do not say something in the least." By letting your teenager grasp that you are here for him regardless of what, you create it a lot of possible that he'll disenchanted his guard and disclose to you once during a whereas, that could be a rare treat.
Teen Behavior drawback 2:

Communication Devices Rule Their Lives

It's ironic that teenage kinds of communication like instant messaging, texting, and talking on cell phones create them less communicative, a minimum of with the folks they live with. In today's world, though, forbidding all use of electronic devices isn't solely unrealistic, but unkind. "Being networked with their friends is vital to most teens," says Goldman.

Your answer

Look at the massive image, advises Susan Bartell, PhD, a young person psychologist in ny. If your kid is functioning well at school, doing his chores at home and not utterly retreating from family life, it's in all probability best to "lay off." it is also alright to set cheap limits, like no "texting" or telephone calls throughout dinner. Some oldsters like to not let teens have computers in their rooms, since it makes it tougher to supervise pc usage, and this is often perfectly cheap. several consultants conjointly counsel establishing a rule that the pc should be off a minimum of one hour before bedtime, as some way to confirm that teens get a lot of sleep.

One great way to limit what percentage minutes your teen spends talking on his cell and texting: need him to pay his own telephone bills. And do your best to observe what your kid will when he is on-line, notably if he or she is using networking sites like MySpace and Facebook. you continue to own the house and pc -- therefore check into parental net controls and software to observe use of any questionable internet sites.

Teen Behavior drawback 3:

Staying Out Too Late

It's 10:30 p.m. and you told your daughter to be home by ten p.m. Why will she ignore your curfew once more and again?

"Part of what teens do is check limits," explains Goldman. "But the actual fact is that they really need limits, therefore oldsters have to be compelled to keep setting them."

Your answer

Do some analysis before insisting that your kid respect your curfew as a result of it's attainable that yours is unreasonable. decision a couple of of your children' friends' oldsters and resolve after they expect their kids home. Goldman suggests giving children a 10-minute grace amount, and if they defy that, to line consequences -- like no going out in the dead of night for per week.

If it appears like your kid is staying out late as a result of she's up to no sensible, or does not feel happy at home, then you wish to speak along with her and fathom what could be happening. However, if your curfew is in line with what is typical in your teen's crowd, then it is time to line consequences and then enforce them if your teen continues to interrupt your rules. after you create a rule, you've got to mean it. you cannot bluff teenagers -- they'll perpetually decision you on it.
Teen Behavior drawback 4:

Hanging Out with children you do not Like

You wince on every occasion your son traipses through the door together with his greasy-haired, noisy buddies. do you have to suck it up, or say something?

Your answer

Kids will wear weird garments, pierce their lips, act rudely and still be good children, says Bartell, who advises oldsters to carry off on criticizing one thing as superficial as fashion in their kids' friends. "Teenagers are therefore connected to their friends that it's like criticizing them directly."

On the opposite hand, if you recognize that your kid has taken up with a gaggle of troubled teens who skip college and do medication, a chat is so as. "Without putting him on the defensive, tell your kid you are involved regarding who he is hanging out with which you are worried he is doing medication," says Bartell. whereas you cannot forbid your kid to hold around with bound children, you'll intervene and take a look at to nip dangerous behaviors within the bud. do not be afraid to raise for skilled facilitate regarding hanging out with a crowd engaged in negative behavior. Counseling or family therapy will facilitate.

Teen Behavior drawback 5:

Everything's a Drama

Every very little factor appears to line your daughter off lately, and therefore the a lot of you are attempting to assist, the a lot of she sobs or shouts or slams the door.

Part of being a young person is feeling things intensely, therefore what could appear like no massive deal to you is vastly necessary to her.

Your answer

Parents tend to trivialize the importance of things in teenagers' lives, says Bartell: "What happens is that children feel misunderstood, and eventually they'll stop telling you something. straight away it's the foremost necessary factor within the world that her relief is flirting along with her boyfriend, and you wish to require it seriously."

Don't provide recommendation, disparage her friends or try and minimize it by saying that someday she'll see how silly highschool romances are. "Just listen and sympathize," says Bartell. And place yourself in her position -- as a result of, after all, you were once there yourself.